July 13, 2015

The Affair

About two and a half months ago I began a new relationship. I had seen this guy and I knew I had to have him. I tried to find out as much as I could about him. I looked for him everywhere, Googled his name, talked to people I knew had had contact with him. It was almost embarrassing, but I knew I wouldn't be able to live without him. By mid-May, he was mine.

We do everything together. Everything. This wasn't much of a problem in the beginning. I was so happy to have him and he made me feel good about myself. He was quietly encouraging and he made me feel like a better person. Sometimes I even snuck out for long walks with him. He had me doing things I hadn't done in quite a while. But things were moving fast.

I soon realized that I began to rely on him entirely too much. I was constantly looking to him for approval. I would check in with him all day long, interrupting my work and time with my husband and kids. I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible--pretending to check facebook or play Words With Friends on my phone--but really I was secretly checking in with him. It was shameful.

My good friend, Misty, finally pointed out the truth:  my fitbit was turning me into his fitbitch.

I am your fitbitch.

In reality he was the clingy one. He needed to be with me constantly and I started to resent his persistent presence. Did he need to be on me ALL THE TIME?! I just couldn't shake him off. This was starting to feel like a bad relationship.

Things were getting downright uncomfortable. If it got hot and heavy in the bedroom, I began to feel like fitbit was a third wheel. Was there a protocol for this? Did my husband even notice he was there? Has proper etiquette been established for these situations? Was it impolite to leave him on my wrist when my husband and I were getting naked? What if it gets in the way of, um, things?  Is this what a threesome feels like?

Ultimately the most important questions about sex with the fitbit on had yet to be answered: how many steps am I tracking and how many calories am I REALLY burning?

Is there a protocol for this? Is this what a threesome feels like? @notsosupermom_ #TheAffair


  1. LOL! I was thinking "puppy" at first, but fitbit affair is even better!!

    1. I can see where you would think that and as a matter of fact our dog has tried to get in the bed between us so it may just apply to her as well, but with more "cute" and less "awkward", lol!


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