February 23, 2013

My Girl

This is why I never wanted girls.  So long ago I used to say that when I had kids I wanted all boys.  I had hoped to never have girls.  Ages 9 to 12. This is why.  I remember feeling awkward with myself and uninvited to my life.  How could I possibly offer her anything helpful in these strange years?

Dear Moo,

Why is this so hard to tell you?  Why is it so difficult for me to tell you that YOU are what should matter the most to you.  Maybe it just sounds cheesy or maybe you feel like I would say anything because I am your mom.  That is so not the truth.  I mean, I would say a lot of things, but that doesn't make any of them untrue.
  1. You are beautiful.  Warm brown eyes sitting above those squishy, kissable cheeks.  And those feckles are my favorite.  But to me, that stuff is just obvious.  
  2. You have a funky and fearless sense of style.  Please, don't EVER compromise it.  I clearly remember wanting to wear some crazy stuff that I was just too chicken to try.  You wear it all and you wear it well--with hair to match.  Hang on to that courage and uniqueness, they will serve you well later in life.  
  3. You are an amazing big sister.  You are fun and silly and it is so clear that you love your brother and baby sister--and they love you so much.  
  4. You are so smart and so responsible.  Don't EVER get bored with that. 
  5. You are so caring--CARE ABOUT YOU FIRST.  Don't confuse putting your self first with putting yourself above others, but please never let them make you feel like less.
This is one of those things that is almost impossible for you to comprehend.  If other girls want to try to make you feel bad, remember, it's just because they feel bad about themselves and it makes them feel better to try and put others beneath them.  You are a better person than that.  It is so difficult at your age for you to see that these girls won't matter to you in ten years.  At all.  Don't let them matter now.  Don't let their insecurities become yours.  Don't give them that kind of control.  

You have so much to offer everyone:  as a daughter, a sibling, a friend, a schoolmate, a student and a responsible young lady and citizen.  It is surprising to think about all the "roles" you fill everyday.  That is a lot for anyone, but remember the first and most important thing to be is just yourself.  You're eleven--be happy, have fun, be responsible for yourself and don't stress out about things and people you have no control over.  

The most important thing I need to tell you is that I love you.  You are my first baby, my "big experiment" as I used to joke.  (So far it's going well, I think.)  You make me proud everyday.  You are beautiful, and smarter than I ever imagined and so hard-working in the things you do.  You remind me of me in so many ways--hopefully the right ones.  I need to tell you that I think about these things everyday--I think about what an incredible person you are growing up to be.  I hope and pray every day that you are proud of you too, that you know how incredible you are, and that you never let anyone make you doubt that.   

I love you, love you, love you, my Moo.

Love, Mommy  
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February 11, 2013

The Sugar (Part 2) - Diabetes is an Asshole

If you just found this, you may want to start with this: The Sugar (Part 1)

It was probably a blessing that we found out on Trick-or-Treat night.  If we had taken Moo trick-or-treating and then let her have one or two pieces of candy (pretty usual for us) she could have gone into a Diabetic ketoacidosis, which is a serious condition that occurs when the body cannot breakdown blood glucose for energy and instead breaks down fat (this is what makes the Atkins diet work).  Breaking down fat produces ketones which are poisonous to the body in large amounts (this is what makes the Atkins diet potentially dangerous).

Her blood sugar had been so high for so long that there is no telling what would have pushed her over the edge from "functional" to something life-threatening.  Normal blood sugar should range between 70 and 100.  Moo's was over 500.  They tested it several times at the Emergency Room because they couldn't believe she wasn't acting loopy or having any issues functioning relatively normally--given her height and weight.  She is pretty tall and thin for her age and was even more so than she should have been at the time; she hadn't really put much weight on the previous year due to her body burning fat for energy, instead of glucose.  

Sometimes high blood sugar, or hyperglycemia, along with extreme thirst and blurry vision can cause confusion.  They eventually surmised that her body had learned to adjust to it's prolonged hyperglycemic state.

We stayed in the ER for a few hours before they sent us up to a room.  One thing the hospital was pretty good about was making sure that you were comfortable with the day-to-day bullshit before they sent you home with The Sugar.  In other words:  we were in for a few days, at least.  I spent less time "learning" what to do with her when she was a newborn--with less experience and more to do.

As it turns out, the Sarge and I are a pretty good team.  He (being a firefighter/EMT) was very comfortable with the medical stuff, and I (being a dork and really good at math) was excellent at computing insulin-to-carbohydrate ratios in my head so that we didn't overdose our kid on insulin or jack her blood sugar up with too many carbs.  It's basically a big numbers game, only the numbers change constantly, so you can't just skate by at any given meal.  You gotta check the blood glucose level and crunch the numbers. EVERY. TIME.

Don't ever think you got it figured out, because then you'll get some wonky blood glucose reading or you'll count your carbs wrong and you're whole "system" is fucked up.  It sucks, and the whole time The Sugar is just giving you the finger and na-na-na-boo-booing you.  That's what it feels like anyway.  Diabetes is an asshole.

~Part 3~

(Let me say here that this was and still is our experience.  Moo is not on a pump--so we check the BG, dial up her dose on her insulin pen and give her a shot.  There are other ways and means that we have not explored yet.  Please do not bombard me with comments [haha, as if I have people slamming this blog with comments. allow me my moment of delusion...] about continuous glucose monitors, pumps and artificial pancreases.  We'll get to that shit in our own good time, but thanks for the info.)
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February 4, 2013

I won! I won!

Ok, relax, it's a Liebster Award.  If you don't know what a Liebster Award is, you probably haven't read a blog that has less than 8 million followers any time recently. And you are missing out--there are some funny bitches out there.

I will do my best to do it justice, while still preserving my own needs for satisfying my curiosity about things and laziness.  I am extremely lazy--almost to the point of seriously considering changing my blog name to Confessions of a Super Lazy-Assed Mom.  Although I guess I wasn’t too lazy to have looked into this Liebster thingy. 

Liebster is a German word that means kindest, dearest, lovely, pleasant, valued, endearing, and welcome (among other things); and this award is given to bloggers with less than 200 (originally 3,000) followers who deserve more recognition.
Here are the current rules:
  • Post 11 random things about yourself
  • Answer 11 questions from your "benefactor"
  • Create 11 questions for those you will pass the award on to
  • Pass the award on to 11 new bloggers and let them know it.
  • No tag backs.
Somewhere along the line the "rules" of this award have morphed. The original rules were:
  • Post the award on your blog.
  • Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
  • Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
  • Give your top 5 picks for the award.
  • Inform your picks by leaving a comment on their blogs.
Notice there is no mention of the "11 random things about yourself" rule and the number of bloggers you need to pick is noticeably smaller. Needless to say, I am partial to the original rules as they seem much less excessive and so much more attractive to my laziness.
Now, I did just receive this award a few days ago from Amy of The Terrible Threes.  HUGE thanks to her!  She's freakin' funny and has a pretty unique and totally cool style of blogging.  Definitely check it out.  

I have to admit, however, I would be a complete and total ass if I did not acknowledge Duchess Pandora who originally bestowed this upon me back in November.  Not just a fellow writer in the blogosphere, I know this woman in real life and she is pretty cool.  She’s a DOer.  Mama gets shit DONE (unlike me, who took over two months just to respond to my first Liebster. #bloggingFAIL). 

Both are deserving of the shout-out and in the interest of fairness I will answer some of both sets of questions.  And since there are so many, I don’t think that 11 random things about me are necessary.  These questions are random enough.

From Amy:
·         If you could be one classic TV character, who would it be? How far back are we going with “classic?” I’ll go with Maude.
·         What inspires you? Somedays, nothing; but most days, my kids. If your kids don’t make you want to be a better person every day, you’re doing something wrong. Corny and true.
·         If you could switch gender for one day (other than furiously masturbate) what would you do? Pee standing up.  I want to know how truly difficult it is to get it in the bowl.
·         What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? Funny-strange? Funny-HaHa? I’ll go with funny-bizarre.  I worked for an extremely well-off family and was a nanny for three kids. Not exactly funny, but bizarre because you wouldn’t believe what money could buy (Neil Armstrong’s spacesuit) and what it couldn’t (A LOT).
·         What’s your go-to junk food item? ICE CREAM. But I really don’t consider it junk food. It’s Dairy.  Look it up.
·         What is your favorite film? It’s a tie—The Wizard of Oz and The Breakfast Club.
·         When is the last time you drew something? (Penis doodles count) Yesterday.  My current specialty is crayon drawings of and with my toddler.
·         Who would you be afraid to meet in a dark alley? Steve Buscemi’s teeth
·         Can you fit your whole fist in your mouth? Huh?
·         What is the dumbest thing you have ever done? (It was trying to fit your fist in your mouth, wasn’t it?) Absolutely.  I’ll just go with that.

From Duchess:
  • Do you believe in astrology? Yes, to some degree.
  • Tylenol, Advil or Aleve...what do you turn to to cure a headache? Advil. No contest.
  • How old would you be if you could be any age? Sixteen.
  • What is the most exotic food that you have ever eaten? Probably a tie between truffles and pate and I hated both.  Apparently I have “beer taste”, which bodes well for my “beer pocketbook.”
  • Have you ever gone Black Friday shopping? Never. I worked MANY a Black Friday.  I don’t get it.
  • What do you keep in the trunk of your car? Always a random bag of something. Frequently something that needs to be returned to a store or clothes of my kids that I am passing on to someone else.
  • What was your nickname as a child? I had many:  Annie, Jane (neither of which are my name), Monkey Doodle, China Girl. 
  • What is your homepage for your Internet browser? My gmail account.<yawn>
So, onto my picks.  I have no idea how many followers these people really have.   I just like them, so check them out.  They’re absolutely worth your time.  And I don’t have questions for them.  Their writing speaks volumes.

·        Mediocrates at How Did I Get Here?  - Buckle up because Mama has been on one wild ride and she’s taking you along.  It’s best if you start at the beginning.  And allow yourself some time—you won’t stop until you’re caught up.

·         Sue at Diapers or Wine? - Don’t let the homeschooling-mother of 5 thing throw you. Sue is a fellow Jersey girl who juggles a lot of balls but doesn’t seem afraid to throw one when necessary.  Think fast.

·         Janel at 649point133.com – Janel might have a million followers already, and if she doesn’t she should.  You will laugh, you will cry, you will pee yourself. (I did.) Don’t miss Turdageddon.  Bring the Depends.

·         Bad Playdate – Anonymous for a reason.  Consider yourself lucky if you don’t have the opportunity to go on a playdate with her.  You will surely do something stupid, and she will blog about it.

·         Melissa at Am I Doing Anything Right? – Let me assure you, she is.  She can write a mean list.  Definitely check out this gem.  Take notes.  And bring some chocolate Teddy Grahams.
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