I won! I won!

Ok, relax, it's a Liebster Award.  If you don't know what a Liebster Award is, you probably haven't read a blog that has less than 8 million followers any time recently. And you are missing out--there are some funny bitches out there.

I will do my best to do it justice, while still preserving my own needs for satisfying my curiosity about things and laziness.  I am extremely lazy--almost to the point of seriously considering changing my blog name to Confessions of a Super Lazy-Assed Mom.  Although I guess I wasn’t too lazy to have looked into this Liebster thingy. 

Liebster is a German word that means kindest, dearest, lovely, pleasant, valued, endearing, and welcome (among other things); and this award is given to bloggers with less than 200 (originally 3,000) followers who deserve more recognition.
Here are the current rules:

• Post 11 random things about yourself
• Answer 11 questions from your "benefactor"
• Create 11 questions for those you will pass the award on to
• Pass the award on to 11 new bloggers and let them know it.
• No tag backs.

Somewhere along the line the "rules" of this award have morphed. The original rules were:

• Post the award on your blog.
• Thank your Liebster Blog Award presenter on your blog.
• Link back to the blogger who awarded you.
• Give your top 5 picks for the award.
• Inform your picks by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Notice there is no mention of the "11 random things about yourself" rule and the number of bloggers you need to pick is noticeably smaller. Needless to say, I am partial to the original rules as they seem much less excessive and so much more attractive to my laziness.

Now, I did just receive this award a few days ago from Amy of The Terrible Threes.  HUGE thanks to her!  She's freakin' funny and has a pretty unique and totally cool style of blogging.  Definitely check it out.  

I have to admit, however, I would be a complete and total ass if I did not acknowledge Duchess Pandora who originally bestowed this upon me back in November.  Not just a fellow writer in the blogosphere, I know this woman in real life and she is pretty cool.  She’s a DOer.  Mama gets shit DONE (unlike me, who took over two months just to respond to my first Liebster. #bloggingFAIL). 

Both are deserving of the shout-out and in the interest of fairness I will answer some of both sets of questions.  And since there are so many, I don’t think that 11 random things about me are necessary.  These questions are random enough.

From Amy:

·         If you could be one classic TV character, who would it be? How far back are we going with “classic?” I’ll go with Maude.

·         What inspires you? Somedays, nothing; but most days, my kids. If your kids don’t make you want to be a better person every day, you’re doing something wrong. Corny and true.

·         If you could switch gender for one day (other than furiously masturbate) what would you do? Pee standing up.  I want to know how truly difficult it is to get it in the bowl.

·         What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? Funny-strange? Funny-HaHa? I’ll go with funny-bizarre.  I worked for an extremely well-off family and was a nanny for three kids. Not exactly funny, but bizarre because you wouldn’t believe what money could buy (Neil Armstrong’s spacesuit) and what it couldn’t (A LOT).

·         What’s your go-to junk food item? ICE CREAM. But I really don’t consider it junk food. It’s Dairy.  Look it up.

·         What is your favorite film? It’s a tie—The Wizard of Oz and The Breakfast Club.

·         When is the last time you drew something? (Penis doodles count) Yesterday.  My current specialty is crayon drawings of and with my toddler.

·         Who would you be afraid to meet in a dark alley? Steve Buscemi’s teeth

·         Can you fit your whole fist in your mouth? Huh?

·         What is the dumbest thing you have ever done? (It was trying to fit your fist in your mouth, wasn’t it?) Absolutely.  I’ll just go with that.

From Duchess:

• Do you believe in astrology? Yes, to some degree.
• Tylenol, Advil or Aleve...what do you turn to to cure a headache? Advil. No contest.
• How old would you be if you could be any age? Sixteen.
• What is the most exotic food that you have ever eaten? Probably a tie between truffles and pate and I hated both.  Apparently I have “beer taste”, which bodes well for my “beer pocketbook.”
• Have you ever gone Black Friday shopping? Never. I worked MANY a Black Friday.  I don’t get it.
• What do you keep in the trunk of your car? Always a random bag of something. Frequently something that needs to be returned to a store or clothes of my kids that I am passing on to someone else.
• What was your nickname as a child? I had many:  Annie, Jane (neither of which are my name), Monkey Doodle, China Girl. 
• What is your homepage for your Internet browser? My gmail account.<yawn>

So, onto my picks.  I have no idea how many followers these people really have.   I just like them, so check them out.  They’re absolutely worth your time.  And I don’t have questions for them.  Their writing speaks volumes.

·        Mediocrates at How Did I Get Here?  - Buckle up because Mama has been on one wild ride and she’s taking you along.  It’s best if you start at the beginning.  And allow yourself some time—you won’t stop until you’re caught up.

·         Sue at Diapers or Wine? - Don’t let the homeschooling-mother of 5 thing throw you. Sue is a fellow Jersey girl who juggles a lot of balls but doesn’t seem afraid to throw one when necessary.  Think fast.

·         Janel at 649point133.com – Janel might have a million followers already, and if she doesn’t she should.  You will laugh, you will cry, you will pee yourself. (I did.) Don’t miss Turdageddon.  Bring the Depends.

·         Bad Playdate – Anonymous for a reason.  Consider yourself lucky if you don’t have the opportunity to go on a playdate with her.  You will surely do something stupid, and she will blog about it.

·         Melissa at Am I Doing Anything Right? – Let me assure you, she is.  She can write a mean list.  Definitely check out this gem.  Take notes.  And bring some chocolate Teddy Grahams.