July 23, 2013

The Laws Of Laundry

I'm no expert at a lot of things, but I've done a load of laundry or two or 1,000 in my day.  In fact, I've done no less than 7 in the last 18 hours.  And although I couldn't possibly hope to ever be finished the laundry (ever.) I have definitely learned much along the way and feel obligated to share with you my knowledge on the subject.


1. The one piece of clothing that you missed grabbing out of the hamper is the exact thing that your preteen daughter NEEDS to wear today. 

2. The moment you remember to throw a load in to wash that blouse/work shirt/pair of jeans you need, is exactly the same moment three people in your household will need to take a shower, and precisely the same moment you remember that you loaded the dishwasher and forgot to start it.

3. You can never buy too much detergent. Maybe this is just my own personal hoarding issue, but when detergent goes on sale, I stock up.  When Sharknado hits or the zombie apocalypse comes, you may have plenty of water and canned goods stowed away, but how are you going to wash those blood-stained clothes?

4. If and when it ever so happens that you "finish" all of your laundry (finished laundry--does that qualify as an oxymoron?) and by "finish" I mean the 11 seconds of peace you have when......
  • all of the laundry in the laundry room is actually laundered 
  • you take a breath before you start folding all of it and
  • not quite enough time has passed that the hampers are full again
....that is when your toddler will smear and spill strawberries, ketchup and/or chocolate down the front of her shirt, and you will actually wish you had laundry to do.  Instead you cross your fingers and Spray n' Wash the shirt like Al Pacino in Scarface.

5. The day you come home from vacation with all of your souvenir knick-knacks, t-shirts (more laundry?) and dirty clothes is the day your washer will break.  Hopefully you won't have to wait 10 days for the repairman.  Hopefully.

6. Your washer will go wildly and loudly off balance right about the time your toddler drifts off to sleep for her 37 minute nap after 45 minutes spent reading, singing and laying down with her.

7. Never forget to check your own pockets. I am usually good at checking the kids clothes for the usual detritus that could end up going the distance in the washer and dryer, including but not limited to: jewelry, coins, Legos, rocks,  barrettes, wrappers, wads of paper, paper clips, lip balm and/or gloss (my biggest peeve), pens (usually The Sarge), keys, erasers, and money.  There may or may not have recently been a still-wrapped-but-very-bloated "emergency" maxi pad I vaguely recall stashing in my pocket the other day that, upon it's removal from the dryer, inspired this post.


And while I was writing this (for reals) The Sarge found his "lost" debit card.

I can't make this crap up.....

6 comments:

  1. So true!!!!! It never fails that on the rare days I do get all the laundry done is the same day a horrible stomach virus hits every member of our family!!! Love this!!

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    1. Ugh! Of course! Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. Ha! Number 6 just happened to me last week. My daughter said, "Mom, the washing machine is making a lot of noise. And it is moving the freezer." I admit to being a bit scared. lol

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    1. If you look closely at the title picture (my own W/D), there is a towel folded and draped between the washer and the dryer for that very reason. The washer likes to get jiggy with it sometimes and hip-bump the dryer off their shared platform. Good times. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. The rule about someone needing whatever you just put in to wash is true in my house for the bathroom, too. I go in to use it, both my girls suddenly need to use the one toilet that's in our house. It's remarkable, really.

    Glad he found his debit card. Does that mean his money isn't dirty anymore? :)

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    1. Yes! Apparently we are now laundering money here at the NotsosuperHouse! Just wish it was as lucrative as the real thing. Thanks for stopping by!

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